Cherish Every Minute

I know, I know, it's been a very long time again since I have posted. It hasn't been on purpose. Well actually, it sort of has. You see, I am 3 weeks away from my due date and Chris and I have decided that we are going to cherish every minute we have with Zoelle. So, because of that, I haven't been on here or much of anywhere else to post.

3 weeks!?! Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday that I was posting on here that crazy picture of my pregnancy test. Now, I am just weeks away from meeting our second biological child. It makes me excited, scared, nervous, and sad. So many different emotions in meeting this little one. Mainly the sadness comes from no longer having it just Zoelle and I. I do not fear one bit loving this child as much as I do Zoelle. Instead, I just am sad that I will never have this time with "just us" ever again. I cherish it and will always look back on the fond memories we created in her first two years of life. What a special time it has been and still is!

The adoption front is again slow and making me feel depressed. Just the other night I was bawling to Chris saying, "It isn't going to happen. I just can't see it happening, especially with this economy.". My husband, who I must say again is a huge blessing, reminded me that God is bigger than all of that. He has the most perfect, most beautiful, little babe out there for us just waiting to join our family. It is just on His time, not ours. Wow! What a great reminder-one that I will probably have to keep saying to myself over and over until that precious little babe is in my arms at last. God recently lead me to this verse that helped calm me and give me peace to know He has a child for us.

“As surely as you live, my Lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I have asked of him.”

1 Samuel 1:26,27

As far as grants go, no new news. This means that we probably did not receive the National Adoption Fund. However, that grant has no limits to how many times you can apply, so God is not finished yet there! It just means someone else needed it more than us at this time. The only other adoption grant news we have heard is that the Gift of Adoption grant has moved our application review date back to June. This is because they are short on funds, and are praying that by June they will have more to commit to us or others like us. Pray with us for that, would you?

To end this super long post (please forgive me for it, k?), I must post a picture of my little girl whom I am cherishing every minute with. :)

God Is Not Finished Yet!

We thought we were all finished with grant applications. However, God always has a surprise for us! We were all set to mail the Our Creator's Hope grant application a month ago and then found out they were not accepting applications at the time. Last night, while going through our e-mails, I found the link to their blog. When I checked it, I found out that they are now accepting applications for a $1,000 grant! Yay! We are beyond excited for another try at another grant. :) This grant opportunity starts today and all materials must be e-mailed in by April 30th! So it is a short opportunity, but one we are so thankful we caught in time.

He is also working in our other grants. We got word from Shaohannah's Hope that they will be reviewing our application within 3 months of first applying. That puts us into June, but we are okay with that, if that is what God's timing is for us. We also found out that Shaohannah's Hope averages about $3,000 per grant. They receive well over 100 applicants each month and are only able to provide grants to approximately 35% of those who apply.

I also wanted to take a moment to thank those of you who were praying for the Gift of Adoption grant. We were specifically praying that they would review our application (as they give favor to those who are matched with a child first). They contacted us last week with a tentative application review in May. Praise God for answered prayers!

Would you please join with us in praying and speaking life over these remaining grants. We want to stay realistic, but also to have hope and just know that God is going to provide. After all, nothing is too big for God. :)

Mail

Is it kind of pathetic that each day, one of the highlights of Zoelle and I's day is getting the mail? Seriously, with the length of winter and how cold the majority of our winter has been, Zoelle and I rarely get out. We do though to check our mail, which is why it is always a highlight.

Yesterday, I had a very strong feeling that we would have some adoption grant news. Sure enough, there was a letter from God's Grace Adoption Ministry. I sat there and held it in my hand awhile knowing that either and "yes" or a "no" was in that letter. To be honest, when I opened the letter and started reading, I wasn't totally surprised to see the answer was "no". Disappointed, sad, hurt, confused...but not surprised. My first thought was, "I hate this adoption thing". Then, I wanted to cry out to God as to when it will be our turn?

Bless my little 22 month old daughter Zoelle. She came up to me about five minutes after opening the mail and told me, "Mama, wait upon the Lord". I was shocked! God specifically had her tell me that, in order to trust Him. Then later, I was online reading about an acquaintance's adoption journey and she had this scripture posted:

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." -Habakkuk 2:3

So do I think God is telling me to wait? Yes! Is it hard? Yes! Scary? Yes! That is the hardest part for Chris and I-to not be scared. We have done all we can do, and the rest is up to God. If we get denied on more grants, we have absolutely no idea where the money for the adoption will come from. The good thing is, God does know, and so in the meantime, we wait.