The Notebook

Recently I met with a dear friend of mine who has so encouraged me and blessed me over the years. At the very end of our meeting, she handed me a notebook. She shared with me that this notebook was to be used to write letters, scripture, praise songs, or anything that came to mind that helps us as we journey along in our adoption. No matter how long it is.

My very first entry in it was today and this is what I said:

Dear ___,

Today it is 2 days before Christmas. My arms so ache to hold you. I honestly thought I would have had you by now.

I often wonder if you are born yet. Or if you have even been conceived. I have so many questions yet unanswered. The joy I will have in calling you mine will be unspeakable!

I pray for God to hold you close this Christmas and next year it will be my turn to hold you!

I love you,

Mama

Thank you dear friend for acknowledging that this child is ours long before it comes into our home. I had a journal for each of my girls pregnancies and I've always wanted to be able to pass along a journal to this baby as well.

Thank You

To the person who sent us an anonymous check! Once again, I'm not sure if you are the same person/people or not. I don't need to know though. All I know is that you are following God's leading and He is continually showing us that He cares about us through the anonymous giving.

Blessings!

dis·ap·point·ment

NOUN:

1.
a. The act of disappointing.
b. The condition or feeling of being disappointed.
2. One that disappoints.

Today I have disappointment. Yesterday morning we got a phone call from our social worker about a situation. As I found out more and more details about the situation, I could not help but be excited. The baby was to be born Monday (yes, this next Monday) and we were going to be there and be involved from the minute the baby was born. I spent the majority of my day talking on the phone yesterday to two different social workers and then hanging up with them to then call my husband. Talk about emotional exhaustion!

At 8:30 last night we got the final call-they chose the other family, not us. What major disappointment! Oh how Chris and I tried to guard our hearts knowing that this could be the result. However, it is human nature to want to bond with the situation as this baby could have been ours. In our eyes, this sitution seemed perfect. However, in God's it must not have been.

While I do have disappointment today, I also know that I am not without hope. He still guides and reigns in this adoption. He has THE perfect baby for us. We just again have to wait.

I choose to wait in hope...not disappointment!

Grants & Prayers

At this point in our adoption process, it really is a waiting game. Since we are waiting, there never is a whole lot to update you on. However, I still am doing my best on trying to update at least once a week. Often I just ask God to guide me and show me what He wants me to say.

This week, I just wanted to ask for your prayers. More on that in a bit.

An aquintance of mine who just adopted shared with us a new grant that they had applied for and received. We just filled out that paperwork the other night and hopefully today Chris remembered to go get it notorized. Here is where your prayers come in. We would, of course, love to receive this grant. Will you pray with us that we do? Any additional help in our adoption would give us a bit more peace of mind in saying "yes" to situations. Of course, we know that God in His awesomeness can provide for this adoption completely with or without this grant. However, I also know that we are needing some more peace right now on the finance end of the adoption. Maybe God has a different idea of how to show us that peace. Either way, just pray for us, okay? :)

Oh and if you remember from way back-we do still have 2 grants that we are waiting to hear on. The one, we can apply for every quarter (which we have done). If we don't hear back from them, that means we didn't get picked. I am praying that the third time is the charm as this is our third time applying and I honestly just want to be done with it! The other one is the grant that they are very particular on when they review your application. Meaning, unless you have been picked, they don't review you. I'm praying for patience and the right timing on that one.

Otherwise, we are coming up on a year later for many of these grants which means that we can re-apply for them. Pray that I have the time to do that, because if you remember, it was a TON of paperwork. That wasn't so hard to do with one babe, but with two little ones at home, my time is precious.

Blessings to all of you and we so appreciate and love the prayers, encouragment, and love you give to us!