Random thoughts from a soon to be adoptive mama

I wish I had news, but I don't. This adoption seems like a never ending wait. I have stuggled with ups and downs many times during the wait. The other night, Chris and I were sharing with a good friend about our adoption and how hard it has been. At the end of our conversation, I came to the conclusion that God must have wanted to strengthen my faith, my patience, my trust in Him. Because two years (coming up in July) is way longer than I ever thought I'd say we had waited. I look back and sometimes feel like I have wasted two years. On the other hand, I look back and think that if God wouldn't have made me wait this long, there is no way I would have the faith in Him I have today. I have also been able to see some incredible miracles while I wait.

I do have some fears. I fear that those who have supported us are wondering if we are ever going to adopt. Or what happened to their money. I know not all of our supporters read this blog, and so I fear that many think we have given up. We haven't! Which brings me to the fact that I am currently really struggling with how to make this adoption "real" to people. I don't know how to tell people we are adopting. Or if I should bring it up more or not. I don't have a big belly in front of people's faces all the time to remind them that yes we are still adopting. I want people to be just as excited for us as if we were pregnant, yet I find that most people aren't. I'm often sad that my online friends are sometimes the most supportive ones out there constantly asking me about it, or praying for it. All the while, my in real life friends haven't asked or said something in weeks. Oh I know it's not their fault. I think often times no one knows what to say or how to approach it. I just wish they would say something. Anything really. Just to confirm they care, they are excited for us to adopt. Meanwhile, I ask God to help me not to get sad or bitter toward it all. See yet another thing God is working on in me that I otherwise probably wouldn't have gotten to work on. :)

So keep praying dear blog readers. Ask God to show me Him in this wait, however much longer it may be. I really need to see Him through it all!