I'll wait

Sorry for my long extended absence from blogging here. It's been hard for me to blog as I kept asking myself, "Where do I go from here? What could I possibly say Lord that could help someone?". Nothing new was going on with us, and we still sit here and wait.

As I have mentioned before, the thought of waiting is suffocating at times. I don't like it one bit. Yet I have no choice but to wait on God. I also realize through that waiting that God can and does speak to me. I've relied on Him and trusted Him through this adoption process possibly WAY more than I ever have my whole life. If I hadn't had to wait, God would not have stretched me and grown me into the woman of God I am today.

Sometimes, I look up in the sky and wonder how much more waiting Lord? I dream of this summer holding another baby who doesn't have the same color of skin as I do in my arms, all while watching my older two blonde haired girls splash in the pool. It makes me smile quietly; for one day my dream will be fulfilled. But for now I wait, and ask God to strengthen me in the wait. To fill me with a faith I've never had before. To be real in a way I couldn't possibly ever dream of.

All because I said I'll wait.