She's 3 Today

Three years ago today I met my daughter and her birthmom for the first time. I wrote this on Xio's birthday, but I share today as today is a special day for all of us and one I will never forget. As I watched Xiomara's birthmom so beautifully hand us her daughter and then walk away sobbing, my heart broke in half and I promised to do my part in allowing her to be a part of Xiomara's life. This is one little way I can do that.

Dear J,

Our daughter is three today. Three sweet and precious years old. Can you believe it?

That teeny, tiny, precious baby is definitely more grown up now (although thankfully not all grown up). Instead she is talking, running, tantruming, pottying, singing, dancing, and making us laugh daily.

She's been talking a lot about you lately. Asking me questions, or just declaring random things. Tonight at dinner, Xio declared, "My birf (birth) mommy gave birf to me in a bath tub". I told her the story of her birth again (although it wasn't in a bath tub), and then I showed her pictures of you and pictures of her. She sat there staring at the bright screen with her thumb in her mouth mesmerized, and probably a bit confused at it all.

I'm thankful she is free to ask questions. I'm thankful I have so many answers, thanks to you.

On this day I always think and pray for you, maybe a bit more so than others. I know as a mama, that birthdays are special and a mom never forgets the birth of her child. I'm hoping by now you received the package in the mail filled with pictures and a DVD. I'm thinking hearing her voice for the first time may be a balm for your soul.

Today the plan was to take her swimming as she is a little fishy, but we had rain here and it made it so we just stayed home and played (she liked it anyway). She wants vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting for her birthday cake and has asked me all day long when she gets to eat her cupcake! :)

I'm so thankful for her, J! I know I've said it a million times, but I'll say it again, I never knew joy until she came. She brings a certain spunk and happiness to our whole family. I know one day, you will get to experience that yourself, but for now, just keep cherishing these memories and these moments, in your heart.

We always love you and thank you on this day, as we do each day. Kisses from afar from your little girl.

With much love...